Falling in love is not accidental. Selection of a partner is made unconsciously and is based on childhood memories and feelings one had about his parents or other people who took care of him then. It is also affected by positive or negative experiences of romantic relationships he has been in. This explains why there is no specific model of the perfect partner, since it is determined according to personal needs.
Standards for a successful and long lasting love affair are not confined to sexual attraction. The abilities to communicate, trust, respect and take compassion on somebody are essential to achieve it. This kind of relationships offers both partners feelings of security and bliss, similar to those they experienced in their mother’s hug.
Choosing the perfect partner is a not an easy task. There are certain criteria that need to be met in order to make the right choice.
Define personal needs
One needs to find out what qualities he is seeking from a person. He may point out the most important features and pay less attention to the rest. He should examine all aspects of a personality, except from physical appearance, like career prospects, social status, values and beliefs.
Examine past relationships
A person needs to try to pin-point the reasons why a previous relationship failed. He should remember the mistakes he made and why they happened. It is also important to spot the exact time when things started changing from harmony to anger and fighting.
Find out personal characteristics and values
One can make a list of his own positive and negative points so as to attain a higher level of self-knowledge. His own personality is what determines his future choices. It is common to search for people who share the same positive features or are complementary to him.
Take time
There is no perfect time or a specific age for finding the ideal partner. Sometimes a person’s urgent need for companionships or his fear of being lonely may result in making a wrong choice. This may cause problems, since their intimacy won’t last long or their possible disputes will end in anger and tension.
Trust the choice made
Sometimes people are affected by the opinion of others, especially by friends and family members. Moreover, the society itself imposes models of ideal love affairs or types of relating to each other. It is essential to learn to let oneself go off these expectations. Once one has made a selection, based on his own personality, desires and system of beliefs, he should trust it and hold his ground.
Chrysi Miliordou - Chrysi Miliordou is a psychologist, holding a Master's Degree. She is a member of the accredited body of psychologists in Britain.
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